Alex Lyman's Haiku

The Void Compiler Optimizes all my code Into nothingness

Time, out of control Don't even try to stall it Always moves forward

Enormous wizurd Sez how he is mad, displeased Invisible doom

A dream together Worship an nekkid elf girl She ache s 4 moar lurv

Mah Sharp Cat Fashuns A Harbl @ Mah Tiny Foot I Hate Kitteh Hair

Onion and celery, with a bit of bell pepper: all hail The Holy Trinity.

Transmit S.O.S. To any/all vessels nearby: We need assistance. We have a massive hull-breach, and have launched lifeboats.

Soft, gentle, curly, hair Flows down the back of her neck As my lips kiss it

We play hide-and-seek: The snow is easy to find; The sun always wins

The bad day bright side: There is no better reason, to get a nice hug.

@mistahmojo : Dreadlocks are good, but Mohawks have more dB gain —at least in theory

@aurorachrisma : A MacGyver-girl With a makeshift pen slingshot Aims for zombie heads

A cleanly shaved head Opens the mind and the soul Hare Krishna!

After the Jihad The Middle East will still fight. Over Tabs v. Spaces

Einstein-Rosen bridges close quickly, unless held by exotic matter On a side note, this phenomena was posthumously named after Karl Schwazschild, even though he had been dead almost 5 years before anyone even postulated about what are now known as wormholes; and almost 20 before Einstein and Rosen found a solution for them in the Einstein field equations. That’s a damn fine publicist, right there.

Slumber will not come I lay there, awake for now My dreams, free, uncaught

Somali Pirates Attacking our cargo ships Lets be Privateers!

I know what I'll do: go back and kill my grandpa! Screw you, paradox!

From my CPU, a banshee's screech, emitted Reboot—a problem Where did all my files go? "Error: drive not found"

Pirates have returned. The prophecy has come true. Awaken the Ninja!

A flash in the sky Then comes the thunderous crack Snow-lightning in Spring!

The small of her back My hand sits there, comfortably It just feels right there

Keep your hands and feet Inside time machine at all times Else you might slap Bach

Diode on the fritz Causes cascade failure: Destroy All Humans!

Pontification Homosexuality Humiliation

Reanimation Damn those Voodoo priestesses The zombies, they come

Solanum Virus It spreads through just a bite Run, for God's sake, run!

New lightsaber, raised His body lay at my feet Who's the Jedi, now?

I stalk through the night. Watching. Waiting. Listening. Vampire Hunter.

I shamble, shuffle In search of my only food From shadow, a sound Quickly, I bite at them now By God, I love eating brains

Backwards, forwards: same Newtonian Time Machine Physics is weird, dude

Your MySpace page sucks. Seriously, are you blind? It made my eyes bleed.

Beware the Ninja: you will not see it coming, shuriken to face

Don't ignore the dolphins they will rise against us soon. Avoid the heat rays. http://anti-dolphin.org/

Your attention, please All persons, evacuate This is not a drill

Future memories Great War of 2020 Time travel rules, man

A cold, silent night Sharp metal streaks through the air The ninjas attack

Waves crash on the hull Red pirate blood soaks the deck Ninjas: victorious

Voyager, a probe far away, a response, sent: "You are not alone"

Two twitter twats tweet: twain twilight 'twas twinkling 'twixed, twhirled 'tween two twee twigs

At the frequency 2.45GHz, water is heated

Any reference frame, in a Minkowski spacetime, via time dilation, observes lightspeed as constant. Special Relativity.